Phew, Scorchio! Lots of climbing f-f-f-f-f-f Chris Waddle.
You’ll either get the reference above or you wont. If you don’t get it you really need to watch the Fast Show, a 1990’s Charlie Higson and Paul Whitehouse sketch show which I suspect you can find on You Tube. And to be brutally frank if you haven’t seen the Fast Show what the hell are you doing here wasting your time reading this rubbish when you could be watching Swiss Tony and gang, more of which later? I can sense Adele’s apprehension even as I write this. *
I had a very good night’s sleep at the Belford House hotel, but they don’t offer breakfast and the only place open in town at 830am was the local sandwich take away, so I sat in Covid corner while I had my first ever breakfast burger. Not perfect, but suitably filling, and by 9 I’d set off for my first stop, Housesteads Fort. I had a ticketed time slot of 10am and got there just after as I hadn’t allowed for the 500ft of climbing within the first 5km, a great way to start the day.
Just before I got to Housesteads I came across this intriguing structure, which turned out to be a lime kiln, one of the only remaining multi vaulted kilns in Northumbria, so there you go.
I arrived at Housesteads dripping with sweat, and the museum with obligatory face mask was unbearable so I quickly left that to look at the fort itself.
Housesteads is apparently the best preserved fort on Hadrian’s wall, but it really did look just like a pile of stones; I much prefer the fort on Hard Knot’s pass in the Lake District. The walls of the latter are more distinct, and the setting allows you a much better perspective of the fort layout. Sure you don’t get views of the wall, but the frontier setting is just as evident.
Visiting Housesteads meant a diversion from my originally planned route, so despite Dave’s advice I ended up on the military road. It wasn’t so bad, but man it was straight. Its almost as if the Romans built it, and after a while it just gets boring. Mile after mile of dead straight road, as you crest the next slight rise you get to see another stretch of road with a climb in the distance. The gradients weren’t brutal, that was to come later, but it was boring. There wasn’t that much traffic, but what there was was generally travelling at 70-80 miles an hour, pretty unpleasant, but the tarmac was smooth so I was able to get some speed up.
Northumbria is pretty and while the landscapes are stunning there isn’t much to break the journey up. In the 50k or so between Housesteads and Rothbury, my ultimate destination for the day, there was only three places where I could stop for food and refills. No pretty villages, just the odd collection of farms or cluster of houses. And it is lumpy, some of the climbs were brutal, reaching 20% and they really sap the energy, so I took them slow. I am loving my new bike, but the gearing is to high, something I’ll fix when I get home.
I had lunch at Kirkhale Manor, which isn’t a manor anymore, but it is where Capability Brown, the famous landscape gardener was born. He designed a formal garden for the manor, which was never actually built so the whole place is a statement of what might have been. A decent and very welcome ham and cheese toastie though, the place is a bit or a biking mecca too, at least 4 groups were there while I lunched, but given the paucity of places to eat on the route I guess that’s not surprising.
While I only had a little over 25km to go, a quick look at my Garmin showed I had 3 major climbs before I got to Rothbury.
Warning, this next bit is rude and will not make sense if you don’t know who Swiss Tony is. If you think you might be offended, please skip the next paragraph.
Three climbs, so it was time to summon up my inner Swiss Tony; now reader, riding a bike up a hill is much like making love to a beautiful woman. You approach it with some trepidation, is it going to be beyond you, will you find that you really were not up to the challenge? You will need to approach it slowly, making sure you will be able to go the distance, because it’s no good if you blow too soon. You need reserves of energy, pumping your away with your legs, keeping your balance while maintaining your position, after all falling off your mount would be disastrous. As you near the end, the challenge gets steeper, you are not sure you can hold it together, not sure you can make it to the crowning glory, until eventually you summit, the elation is tremendous, but it only lasts a moment, before your spy the next one coming up, the next challenge, and you move onto that.
I rolled into Rothbury, exhausted, about 3.30, to my overnight digs, the Queens Head Hotel, where for the 2nd night running I had been given a room at the very top of the hotel. Enough climbing already! The first thing I do when I get to my hotel room is check to see if it has a heated towel rail, that I can switch on, even in summer. If it does it means I can wash my cycling gear and be confident it will be dry by the morning. Now I wonder, is it going to far to go back to your bike to get your cycling multitool and bleed the radiator so the whole thing heats up? Possibly, but it worked.
I had a little stroll along the High Street, pretty little place, but there is not much here. People use it as a base for walking and local sight seeing, but its not particularly touristy, and has about 4 pubs. I had a fantastic burger and a couple of pints at one of them, the Turks Head, and then headed off back to my hotel for an earlish night.
Another 70km tomorrow but not quite as much climbing. Thanks for reading, in fact muchos gracias, butros butros gali.
* Postscipt. Well I was right about that. Adele has told me to remove the Swiss Tony paragraph, and even her father complained about it. To me, I think it might be the best thing I wrote all week so it is staying.
Circuit of Britain 